Looking Forward to a Doctor’s Appointment

This entry was posted in Just Life on by .

I don’t have any energy to post much today.  The last 24 hours has been challenging.  I really don’t understand it, but hopefully will later today.  I have an appointment at KU Med later this afternoon to meet up with a specialist that deals with issues that I’m having.

I’m not too big on sitting in an automobile an hour each way to the doctor’s office, but this is the person I need to see, I think.   I’m not sure that everyone that has my issues has the same prognosis and needs the same treatment, but this doctor should know the answer to that, if anyone is going to.  I’ve tried to read everything I can on the Internet, but medicine isn’t too helpful for a lot of the problems I’m having.  I’m thinking if I can just get in a few hours sleep at night, I’ll take even 3 or 4, then I will get better.  If not, I feel like I’m just going to be stuck in a bad situation that seems stagnant.

I walked three times yesterday.  Pretty short walks, but at least I did something other than sit in a chair with my eyes shut.  Bill, Trudi, Catherine and I took the dogs out ot the country to run. I ran out of juice just about when we arrived, but Tucker had a great time, even though I was moving 3% as fast or far as he was.  It was pretty nice just sitting out in the country on a beautiful fall day.  All in all, days seem unbelievable unproductive in my current status.

Alright, sorry again about just whining.  It is pretty hard to try to focus on much anything else currently.  It has to get better soon.





31 thoughts on “Looking Forward to a Doctor’s Appointment

  1. Choppy Warburton

    The obvious question that everyone wants to know.

    Will you ever ride a bike without a helmet again?

  2. Brian P

    Keep your chin up, Tilford! I promise you that this will end and you will get through it. One step at a time. So many people are rooting for your quick recovery and sending you healing energy.

  3. Mike

    Steve, good morning. I will be brief and I will be bold as I know you are searching for answers to move through your pain and discomfort. I pray with belief that you will be healed with your belief, it’s promised. For me, Jesus Christ is alive, is the same yesterday, today, and forever. HE performs miracles. I pray that he meets you and you receive him and you can tell us of your miraculous healing.

    Your friend.

  4. channel_zero

    I’m not sure that everyone that has my issues has the same prognosis and needs the same treatment..

    That’s called denial, Steve.

  5. RGTR

    Steve, you have the most interesting trolls of any blogger I’ve followed. Excellent work. Just waiting for crumcakes to make his daily sewage dump and I can move on to my 10:00am meeting.

  6. Choppy Warburton

    It’s been several weeks and unless I missed it, Steve hasn’t once clearly and unequivocally stated his position.

    My question is not ‘being a dick’ but I’ll tell you what is.

    Being a role model for others, a representative of the sport or a group and setting an example that enables others to justify or rationalize a decision that to a large degree violates the social contract we all have with one another.

    You want to participate in dangerous and unpredictable activities. No problem.

    But do it in a way that minimizes the risk for the people you love and that love you, and society as a whole does not have to wipe your ass and take care of your vegetable ass for the rest of your life.

    No protection is absolute but minimizing risk is why we wear seat belts when we drive, why soldiers wear helmets and armor when they go into battle, why athletes of all types wear protective gear relative to their sport and its risks when they go to train or compete.

    Not living up to the social contract? That’s being a dick. Such a dick.

  7. Choppy Warburton


    You have a great point to make absent the fact that god will heal salamanders and ‘help’ them regenerate limbs but won’t do a single thing to heal amputees.


    It’s detestable that religious ilk like yourself, consistently try to exploit those that are sick or injured or weak as their # 1 modus operandi to recruit others into their cult.

    Tilford needs good medical care and time to recover. No miracles, witchcraft or the archaic thinking of bronze age inbreds are of any use to the injured or to modern reason based society.

  8. Dose Of Reality

    I think everyone here hopes you make a full, 100% recovery, and are able to get back to the life you were living before your accident. You are obviously highly motivated to make that happen. It’s also obvious that the doctors working with you, and your family and close friends are on-board with making that happen, too.

    However, you have a history of doing things your way, regardless of what others think. It’s something that’s been a strength for you, a quality that a lot of people who have accomplished much in their lives have. It’s the thing that’s enabled you to break through barriers athletically that others couldn’t.

    But it has a dark side, which is that it leads you to denial. You believe that this was “just another accident” and that you’ve “hit your head” many times, have had previous concussions and LOC’s, and that you should be nearly recovered by now. That’s your nature, and it’s working against you.

    This wasn’t a “knock on the head”, this is a TBI. It’s weeks after the accident and you can’t see well. Your hearing was (or still is) affected. You are on powerful painkillers yet your head is still splitting in pain. It’s pretty clear that a TBI is way different than the concussions you’ve suffered before.

    Yet you don’t follow your doctor’s advice. You do push-ups. You apparently spend hours daily on the computer, researching and posting here. You don’t follow your doctor’s prescription for drugs and try to ration yourself. Dozens of people post here who have had TBI’s, telling you their experiences, trying to help you see what you’re doing is not going to make you better sooner, but you ignore them. You think your way of doing things is going to make you better faster, faster than any doctor can help you or anyone else who has had a similar accident.

    I doubt you will change your approach, but I think nearly everyone who has been following your blog hopes you do, because people want you to recover. If you choose to do it your way, I can only hope that you prove everyone wrong and it works out for you. Best of luck and good wishes.

  9. Chris


    I know your pain on the sleep issue. I had brain surgery for a tumor 3 years ago and for a while I felt I would never sleep through the night again. I hardly slept at all for a month. Luckily the issue did subside. My experience may not directly compare to yours(surgery vs injury) but I’m hoping you see the same improvement.

  10. The Cyclist

    Yo Whoppy you have no idea how sick I am of ppl like you. The reason soldiers wear helmets is bc some dickheads in high places send them off to war. We ride bc we love riding. Go fuckin die you fuckin idiot.

  11. Choppy Warburton

    And how does the simple act of putting on a helmet restrict or reduce anyone’s love of riding?

    To the contrary, the argument could easily be made that had Steve been wearing a helmet he’d be riding right now.

    Just as the argument could be made that had your father been wearing protection, the world would be less one vile angry troll right now.

  12. tippycup

    Motrin, dry socks. Make sure the ammo is dry-the mags are dry. Settle in, heal from this battle and prepare for the next ! You’re gonna be all good in time!

  13. joriverdog

    Steve…Be calm, be patient….healing is two steps forward and one step back. You almost bought the farm…yes that close! I think you are lucky to still be here at all from the sound of the accident. We all have to eventually accept that we can no longer do the things we did in our youth….maybe it is that time for you or maybe not, but time will tell. I have been where you are at….I made it through but I was 28 yrs old then…big difference. Don’t do anything that increases your blood pressure for now. You are trying to heal the center of your nervous system….it needs REST.

  14. mks

    Choppy is actually correct on both of his posts. The dichotomy here is that Choppy sees the need for one to be responsible for oneself as the best gift anyone can give society – those with an opposing view tend to want to be responsible for NO one (including themselves) and yet reap all the benefits that society “owes” them. I know that comment will piss a bunch of the audience here off but it’s true. Number one problem in the US is the lack of the majority of individuals to take true responsibility for their own actions.

  15. barb

    This is not the time to ask that question–seriously your timing is shi*. Why is there always one idiot in every blog?

  16. barb

    Hey doctor Choppy, social responsibility contract expert:
    Your statement that “if Steve had been wearing a helmet, he would be riding a bike now” is blatantly false on it’s face. Helmets protect against skull fractures and head abrasions, however they DO NOT protect against traumatic brain injury. Just ask anyone in the NFL. If Junior Seau was around, you could ask him. And dozens of other football players and those involved in contact sports such as mixed martial arts etc.

  17. Emacdo

    It’s easy to moralize and blame the victim, it fits in well with the puritanical strain in this country. Witness the vitriol that comes out when people start bi*tching about Steve ‘not having a job’, or other such nonsense.

    People cover up their own feelings on inadequacy or disappointment with their own lives by casting judgement on their neighbors.

    It’s nothing new, it just is terribly boring after 330 years of the same old judgmental crap.

    Back when I was reading religious texts I came across a line from some Middle Eastern writer about “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”, which sounded good, though I think they ended up crucifying the guy for it, so draw your own conclusions. Perhaps he meant, “let he who is without facts or compassion cast the first flame”, but that might be too literal.

  18. Messenger

    Choppy will find out he was not as smart as he thought he was on the day of his death when he is cast into the fires of hell forever. Accept Jesus Christ now as Lord and saviour. Tomorrow may be too late. All who believe will have eternal life.

  19. I had injuries, too

    Wow. Every element of our screwed up society reflected here, from every angle. Shit happens. For me anyway, life is about minimizing risk, so I can experience more of it. Sure, I take part in risky activities, but I stack the deck on my side when I can. Reap what you sow, you know?

  20. joriverdog

    Barb…not quite right…football helmets are built for contact to prevent skull fx…not concussions…right on…bike helmets try to do both because that collapse when hit at higher speed absorbing (hopefully) most of the impact…this all of course is mute if you hit the head at say 45 mph dead stop. But at 30 mph My guess is Steve would have had his ”bell rung” but not be in the shape he is in right now.

  21. Dose Of Reality

    Messenger: “Choppy will find out he was not as smart as he thought he was on the day of his death when he is cast into the fires of hell forever. Accept Jesus Christ now as Lord and saviour. Tomorrow may be too late. All who believe will have eternal life.”

    If “eternal life” means hanging out in a puffy-cloud Heaven with your vindictive, cruel, and hateful God, along with self-righteous, dimwitted, “faithful” such as yourself, then I look forward to the fires of Hell, sounds like a great place in comparison.

    There’s nothing like the love of an Xtian when it comes to telling everyone how they’re going to burn.

  22. Choppy Warburton


    When is the time? A week or a month from now when one more child ends up in the ICU with a TBI ?

  23. Choppy Warburton

    “minimize risk” Barb.

    I would ask someone in the NFL but most are too brain injured to provide a coherent response.

    Besides NFL and MMA injuries come from repeated head trauma. Cycling helmets are meant to be destroyed in the process of reducing g-forces to the brain from a single impact.

    You make persuasive comments other than all of the logical faults and emotional outbursts, Barb.

  24. dave

    Steve, with your crash and all the TBI talk, that ugly swollen knee you had kinda got ignored. What happened to it? Heal everything up man! …oh, and uh…President Hilary Clinton headed our way, for better, same ‘ol, or worse.

  25. Son

    God does not send anyone to hell. You send yourself when you reject his son Jesus who paid your sin debt in full. His love and grace has made the only way if you truly believe. He loves all of his children.

  26. Neal Henderson

    Hello Steve,

    Hang in there …. You are not alone. I ran across your blog after Seth Davidson posted about it.

    This was recently posted on the Slowtwitch Forum: http://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6125677#p6125677

    “I probably don’t need to say this to this crowd, but always wear your helmet. Concussions suck.

    I was doing a warm-up lap for a cyclocross race last weekend and dumped it. Wasn’t going all that fast, didn’t really get hurt that bad, but hit my head. I was wearing my helmet. At the time I didn’t remember anything that happened, but rode up to the staging area. When they dropped the start signal, everything started to go black, I got dizzy, and found myself dead last at the first turn. I felt like Cheech and Chong in Up In Smoke where they’re sitting in the median. I pulled off and recorded my first CX DNF.

    The rest of the morning was a blur, and is still mostly forgotten. My buddy talked me into visiting the med tent where a lady ran me through a concussion protocol. Luckily, I wasn’t driving home. When we got home, I rested the rest of the day and the headache continued to build.

    The next morning, the headache lessened but persisted and I went to an immediate care facility near my house. She diagnosed me as having a severe concussion and whiplash. I had landed on my shoulder – not hard – but enough to snap my neck sideways. I was ordered to rest and avoid computers, reading, thinking too hard, strenuous exercise, etc. As a bike fitter by night and IT team lead by day, this is pretty hard to do – I thrive on mental challenges. I ended up taking all of last week off in what was quite possibly the most boring week of my life. Lots of sleeping, lots of Tylenol (I really need to contact them about being my race sponsor), lots of not doing a whole lot. My head hurts all the time to some extent, and there is numbness in my left cheek (the side of impact). I get dizzy when moving at all. Constant tinnitus in both ears. Balance issues. Forgetting everything. Going to Lowe’s on Saturday was completely overwhelming and I gave up looking for what I was looking for and went home empty-handed.

    My regular doctor confirmed the severe concussion, and is getting me in with a Neurologist. Other than that, it’s pretty much just “give it time.” I am back to work today, but this sucks. The plan is to take naps at lunch all week to just survive the week.

    As a bike fitter, I talk with people about concussions and the effects on our movement all the time. Now I’m on the other side of the desk, and can unfortunately speak from experience. My hardware is mostly fine, but my software is jacked up. The difficulty of putting together a coherent sentence or even walking without stumbling is frustrating. If you thought I was a dumbass before, you should see me now. I have to put a lot of energy into my balance. It will take time to get back to 100%. I’ve had a few hard hits to the head in the last two months (other MTB race crashes, coaching soccer and getting beaned by exuberant 10-year-old girls with pretty decent kicks, etc.). There may be an accumulative effect, in this case.

    Anyway, I guess I share this as a PSA: Make sure you and your kids are wearing their helmets. It might not take much. I’m really lucky I was wearing mine. It wasn’t even a YouTube-worthy crash, and yet here I sit, constant headaches, constant dizziness, near constant confusion. My ‘cross season is done. I’m not sure where I’d be right now if I wasn’t wearing a helmet. I get pissed at my neighbors whose kids don’t ever wear a helmet, because they will talk my girls out of wearing theirs. It’s not a fashion show.

    Take care of yourselves. I give a shit about all of you, whether you like it or not.

    Oh, and most importantly: My ‘cross bike, Loretta, is OK. Handlebars and hoods were knocked out of whack, but that’s all.”
    Travis Rassat
    Vector Cycle Works
    Noblesville, IN
    BikeFit Instructor | FMS | F.I.S.T. | IBFI
    Toughman Triathlon Series Ambassador




    +1 mph Faster

  27. The Cyclist

    “And how does the simple act of putting on a helmet restrict or reduce anyone’s love of riding? ”
    I’m sorry but apparently your brain does not have required functionality to comprehend that, since it’s ability to enjoy itself while riding has been restricted by your helmet or to put it another way it lacks required neuron paths to process the missing input.


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