God Made a Banker

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I saw this article over at Marketwatch. It is a commentary by Brett Arends. I know most of you won’t click the link, so I have copied the contents, which are below. It’s a spin on the Super Bowl add by Chysler, “So God made a farmer.”

To be read in the voice of Paul Harvey.

And on the eighth day God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need someone who can flip this for a quick buck.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone who doesn’t grow anything or make anything but who will borrow money from the public at 0% interest and then lend it back to the public at 2% or 5% or 10% and pay himself a bonus for doing so.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone who will take money from the people who work and save, and use that money to create a dotcom bubble and a housing bubble and a stock bubble and an oil bubble and a commodities bubble and a bond bubble and another stock bubble, and then sell it to people in Poughkeepsie and Spokane and Bakersfield, and pay himself another bonus.”

So God made a banker.

God said, “I need someone to build homes in the swamps and deserts using shoddy materials and other people’s money, and then use these homes as collateral for a Ponzi scheme he can sell to pensioners in California and Michigan and Sweden. I need someone who will then foreclose on those homes, kick out the occupants, and switch off the air conditioning and the plumbing, and watch the houses turn back into dirt. And then pay himself another bonus.”

So God made a banker

God said, “I need someone to lend money to people with bad credit at 30% interest in order to get his stock price up, and then, just before the loans turn bad, cash out his stock and walk away. And who, when asked later, will, with a tearful eye, say the government made him do it.”

So God made a banker

God said, “And I need somebody who will tell everyone else to stand on their own two feet, but who will then run to the government for a bailout as soon as he gets into trouble — and who will then use that bailout money to help elect a Congress that will look the other way. And then pay himself another bonus.”

So God made a banker.

I’m not sure why our society tolerates this. When I was a kid, bankers used to watch out for the less fortunate and the people who didn’t have the ability to watch out for their own money. I remember getting my first saving passbook. I looked at it everyday for a month. Kris had to empty his bank account to buy his first Colnago (from the Boulder Spoke) when he was 15. I’m sure he had to sit down with someone at the bank and have a talk. Can you imagine that happening nowadays? It was all much like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Now it’s purely business, all fees and, like the above commentary so elegantly states, raping our society legally. They seem to think it’s a game of Monopoly, not people’s lives and well being there are messing with. It isn’t like it used to be. I sure wish someone with some scruples would keep a better eye on these guys.


17 thoughts on “God Made a Banker

  1. techi

    “When I was a kid, bankers used to watch out for the less fortunate” I am not sure about that. If true, it is because doing so aligned with the interests of the Banker rather than the theory that bankers where “Bleeding heart liberals” 🙂 . I my opinion the government created all the incentives that caused most of the problem above including the.

  2. Rod Lake

    I could pen a piece like that for any profession–pro cycling included. I think in any profession, there are bad people but there are great ones, too. The older I get the less I’m inclined to paint with a broad brush. PS: Growing up in Kansas, I met a few “farmers” who made those evil bankers look solid!

  3. Rod Lake

    I watched this after I wrote my post but it pretty much proves my point. We can disparage an entire group of people in one big swipe. People in glass houses…

  4. tilford97 Post author

    Rod-I sort of agree. But, the banking industry has changed from when we were kids. All segments of business have changed, but to me, it seems like the banking industry has run amok. It’s all about profits and misrepresentation. The “investments” that our laws allow banks to create are nearly criminal. And the fees that banks now charge of ridiculous. Nearly usury. And they never bend.

    Banks are a very important segment of all societies. They allow commerce. They hold us all hostage somewhat. We, as a society, can’t have such a vital part of our existence morph where they seem to be going. Obviously, they have no limits to their imaginations of what they feel are “good investments” for their shareholders. Their energies need to focus more on what real banking is really about and not so much on trying to create wealth. That isn’t their business.

  5. Rod Lake

    BTW: Good luck with surgery. If you need a quiet place to recover, you know the gate’s always open to you. I’ve mowed a trail around the edge of the property with a bunch of different loops you can take running or riding.

  6. Rod

    The Federal reserve is the scurvy little spider that Jimmy Stewart characterized Lionel Barrymore as in Wonderful Life.

    Check Ron Paul on that…the Fed truly does hold us hostage and is working to bleed America, and the world, dry, along with the World Bank, etc controlled by globalist corporations. It’s happening right now.

    BTW I got turned on to your blog by Rich Dillen, and the first time I tuned in you had a pic of Pannikin in Encinitas which is where I live (Encinitas, not Pannikin)…I spend a lot of time on 101 myself. Keep up the good work!

  7. Skippy

    Last September i decided to move my Bank Account Branch , closer to where i am now living . Each Raif. Bank is a Franchise Op. , so took my quarterly statement to investigate comparative costs . Being assured that they were similar , i moved account . First quarter charges turned out to be more expensive by about 8x , When i complained i eventually got the reduction to the same level and a request to close the account!

    Moved of course , less distance to cycle than the original , but where do Banks get the ” Right ” to cheat & lie to their clients?

    Ethics was something i was taught in Business School , too many years ago . Wonder what Athletes , Lawyers & Bankers , learn these days ? How to be a ” Used Car Slesperson or a Politician ?

  8. channel_zero

    Blame Clinton-era end of Glass Steagall. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass%E2%80%93Steagall_Act

    Deregulation is good for all. The reasons given were to create more competition, lower costs, and create/deliver more services. Well, we got ATM’s and ACH payments. This is where the small government zombies storm in and blame anything else.

    If you guys aren’t reading this guy, he writes on the topic well:

  9. jprumm

    The Banks gave loans to people who could not afford the loans. Then they sold those bad loans in large groups of good loans. Then when the market crashed the government bailed them out. Or should I say the middle class gave the banks more money. When I bought my first home the bank authorized me for a loan I knew I couldn’t afford. No way would I put myself in such a hole. That is also a problem the stupid people who took the bad loans.

  10. Blake Barrilleaux

    It’s Steve Tilford’s blog. Full stop. He can rap about whatever he chooses. And I like it that way, me ol’ son.


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