Steve Tilford

We did the 800 mile drive from Louisville to Cable yesterday. It seemed long. I’m not feeling all that good. My thumb is a .5 on a 1 to 10 scale and my ribs are a 8. Actually, if I cough or hiccup, it goes to a 15. I somehow forgot how much ribs hurt. Plus, the lack of sleep is killing me. I think I’ll get used to that though.

I’ve had a bunch of time thinking about not racing. I’m okay with it. It would have just been a personal life experience, short term. Wandering around the course on Wednesday, I had a few interactions that were way more memorable than the race ever could have been.

I am always surprised when people approach me and tell me their personal stories. Real personal. I’ve gotten much better at this, listening. It used to make me pretty uncomfortable. And it seems, everyone has a story. Maybe it’s an age deal, but it seems like a lot of people that are in the 40’s -50’s, have big life tragedies going on. Parents dying, sick children, broken bones or illnesses. And these things get them down, which is understandable.

A couple guys came up and thanked me for being so understanding, for personally taking time to respond to them when they reached out. That surprised me, how could you not return an email or phone call to “a stranger” that reached out? And really, none of us, in this small community of cycling are really strangers to each other, even though most of us have never met each other.

I think people do a lot of this to try to cope with the shit that life throws at them. I’ve found cycling to be very useful for lots of these issues. Every once in a while, it seems, someone will see one of my public life experiences and relate to them. For some reason, this eases their stresses, and gives them hope, or a vision to escape the mental turmoil. It is a good thing.

People give me credit, when in reality, I don’t deserve any credit. I’m just posting stuff I do, or feel, and some people feel something in common, which helps them deal with their situations. Sometimes I get a personal contact and I just tell them what I’d do or what I’ve done. Seems to help sometimes, which is great. Life sometimes throws unsolvable problems at us. We just need a little time to figure out solutions, or how to deal with them, or just accept them.

Anyway, I ran into multiple guys, people that went out of their way and thank me for helping them out. It is such a compliment and really is a lot better than racing a master’s race. So, I’ve made my peace with it. Kind of strange how it is turned around and these guys helped me deal with a problem that really didn’t have a solution. Nice. Thank you.

Plus, I got a chance to catch up with a ton of old friends I don’t see often enough. This is Bill Elliston. We have a ton in common, think alike in many regards. Super good guy.

Yesterday was the worst day so far of the 4 I have spent hurt. I think it is a cumulation of all the travel, plus, the lack of sleep. From my personal experience, rotator cuff surgery is the number one sleep inhibitor, with broken ribs coming in 2nd. It is bad enough, during the day, having to suffer through sneezing, burps, laughing, ect., but trying to position yourself at night is maybe worse. It has been for me. I don’t think I have slept more than 30 minutes at a time in 4 days. The last two mornings, I’ve woken up, or have been woken up, by a crazy headache. Today it was throbbing with my heartbeat. Luckily for me, my pulse seems to be getting slower and slower as I age. So it was only painful 35 times a minute instead of 45.

Anyway, I decided to ride the trainer yesterday afternoon, after walking in the woods in the morning. I still had a headache and could only figure out that maybe lack of endorphins was causing it, so I went through the process of getting the trainer out of my van and hauling it up to the Kansas Garage. I am moving at half speed, so it took a while.

After the humbling process, I got riding. It is amazing how pitiful I was. I really couldn’t leave on my removable cast because it really doesn’t fit on the bars. (I’ll have to remold that some.) But, my wattage, it was so low. Like below 200 watts felt pretty hard. Amazing. The only upside was that you really breathe pretty shallow when you ride bikes, so my ribs didn’t really come into play, which was surprising.

I read my friend Seth’s blog this morning and he is going out to do the Donut Ride, his first group ride since cracking his pelvis a month and a half ago. Here is the link to his post about his apprehension. We texted back and forth a bit this morning. I miss that guy, even though I hardly know him.

It is funny how many things go through your mind while you’re injured. I’ve been hurt enough, throughout the years, that I, generally, take it pretty well, with an optimistic view. That is long term. Day by day, it is harder to manage. The inconveniences injuries cause to daily life are numerous. Just trying to button my pants is a chore.

Anyway, I’m sure that I must still have okay form, I can’t lose that it less than a week, not being sick. But I need to keep reminding myself this, because it sure seems like I’m back at square 1, when intellectually, I know that can’t be the case.