Head Injuries

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Okay, I am the first to admit that I knew pretty much nothing about severe to minor head injuries before I started trying to read up on it the last week or so.  From what I have been reading, I don’t think really anyone knows that much about them either.  I think that each and every person that has an brain injury has their own issues that the medical society can probably only scratch the surface of.

I am not getting better.  Worse is more like it.  I have slept over 4 hours two nights straight now, but after I wake, I am pretty pitiful and it takes a hour or two to just get bearable.    And that doesn’t really even happen.

I have an eye doctors appointment this afternoon.  Then an appointment with a neurosurgeon tomorrow.  Neither of those appointments are going to help me currently.  Maybe down the road, but not now.  Not unless I get a new prescription to another medicine that might help me with severe headaches.  I’ve been lucky throughout my life, of not having headache issues.  Now I’m on a new level, which I can’t stay on for much longer.  Or maybe I can.  I’ve pretty much surprised myself on a ton of different subjects the past three weeks.  Not in a good way.

I did do 10 pushups yesterday.  It wasn’t so easy.  I am trying not to increase any blood pressure to my head.  I think I might try to do 10 a day, but it probably isn’t something a doctor would recommend.   But, I doubt doctors would be recommending much of anything I’m doing nowadays.

I also sold most of all the stock I own.  And I’m gonna sell the rest today.  The stock market and our presidential election isn’t going to work that well together this next week.  Mainly if Trump wins, which seems to be coming closer to a real chance more and more as the days pass.

Tonight is the final game of the World Series.  Like I posted yesterday, Trudi is from Chicago, so she is pretty into it.  I’m thinking the Cubs have a pretty good shot at winning tonight.  Final game, 7th game, pretty good baseball so far.  It should be a good game.

I was supposed to be flying out to LA to ride the Mike Nosco ride on Thursday.  I’ve done the ride every year since inception.  The ride is great and the people doing it are real reasons I ride bikes.  Mike’s brother Jack, conceived the ride, and I’m going to miss seeing him.  If you have the smallest chance being in LA on Thursday, please consider doing the ride.  I guarantee you won’t regret it.

Okay, sorry about the same old post. I’m hoping to turn a corner soon.  Or better yet, just do a u-turn and leave this head injury loop I’m in.   I’m not really doing anything other than listening to NPR and laying around with my eyes shut.

Tucker is laying around with me, so that is nice.  I feel like he needs to go out and run, but he seems to just want to snuggle up with me all day.  I really appreciate it.  I just want to feel better enough soon, so that I can take him out to the country and let him do his dog things.  He is going to be turning 11 months old next weekend.   He likes colder weather, which is slow to come this year.  Yesterday it was in the 80’s again.  Pretty hot for the first of November.

This guy crawled around my arm for a few minutes yesterday. I like most spiders, especially these guys.

This guy crawled around my arm for a few minutes yesterday. I like most spiders, especially these guys.

Tucker had already plopped down at my feet by then.

Tucker had already plopped down at my feet by then.



37 thoughts on “Head Injuries

  1. JoeV

    Hey, You need to chill out. Selling stock and doing pushups? You sound like you’re treating this fractured skull thing like it’s just another broken bone. It is not. Stop thinking it is and you know what’s what. You don’t. You’re brain damaged and you can’t deal with this the way you’ve dealt with your other injuries. Brain injuries vary from person to person but it’s not like there is no consensus. Don’t believe for one second that that makes it ok to ignore your doctors. They do know and you don’t and in fact what you do think is wrong because you have a BRAIN INJURY ! Selling stock because the election is going tank the markets? I am going to tell you that that’s crazy talk. Will it have an effect? Sure but the markets are smarter than you and your decision is a classic impulse control symptom of a brain injury.

    Sometimes it’s best to do nothing. Now is one of those times in your life, man. Just do nothing and you will slowly heal.

    You’re going to hear this from everyone. You are wrong about this. Listen to the experts.

  2. dj

    Keep encouraging Steve to get his rest and keep the activity chill. It’s going to take some time, but I’m sure you can keep him in line.

  3. Jack Tasker

    This is like watching a bad car accident play out in slow motion, Steve.

    (If you are close friend of his and you are reading this, get off your butt and help this guy before he goes completely brain dead doing everything a doctor would NOT recommend.)

  4. Ben Tarwater

    I assume the protocol is not much different than dealing with concussions? Maybe even more drastic?

    I know people with concussions that have had to sit in a dark room for all but 1 hour per day. No TV, no reading, no lights of any kind from any source. I would think the same or more severe would be the advice you’ve been given.

    We like reading your blog but we (I) want to see you on your bike and hear about that and I don’t think that will happen if you don’t cut out the reading, exercising, tv and writing the blog. Dictate the blog to a friend and have them type it, please.

    Wishing nothing but the best.

  5. Mike

    It’s hard putting the will aside. There is a healing spirit, receive it. We had a senseless ambush of police officers, two killed in my little what I think to be safe community early this morning. Pray for them Steve, will you pray?

    Peace be to you as you’ve never before had. Heal my friend.

  6. donkybhoy

    I would hazard a guess that felling worse before better is a good thing. Parts of your body are coming out of shock and feel the pain suffered.

    Chill out.

    You aint 28 and needing to be ready for next season to make the TdF team!!

    The older we get the longer the healing process takes.

  7. VC_Slim

    I’m thinking knit caps expert some compression pressure. You might want to go easy on wearing one for the time being. Get well soon.

  8. Fritz

    I think Steve made a good decision sell his stock and go to cash. He may lose a bit buying it back after the election if Clinton wins but if Trump wins he is going to be out early and avoid major losses.

  9. Sean YD

    Feel free to give me a call daily (before 8 a.m. CDT), Steve, and I will take your dictation of your blog entry. You have my number.

  10. Dan

    Steve , the human body needs a ton of calories while healing . packing on a few pounds will be good for you . You will easily burn them off later. Best of Luck Dan

  11. Billy Dean Johnson


    Sorry to hear about your crash. Hang in there, I have hit the noggin a few times, not as bad but it takes time. This to shall pass…


  12. LD

    Stop with the pushups – PLEASE! Raising your blood pressure can seriously set you back. There is no doubt there is the most severe injury you’ve ever suffered and recovery will take time and won’t go well without your help. That means laying low – really low – both physically and mentally for a long time to come.

  13. Matt Goodman

    Steve – you’re going to want to turn ‘off’ commenting here. Trust me, just shut it off. You have real people (the face-to-face types) who can offer you good advice for your life…you don’t need it from the wider interwebs.

  14. Jeff

    By now I think Steve has heard everyone loud and clear regarding protocol. Harping won’t change anything. Who knows? He may decide no helmet on future rides. He likes to live how he chooses which is partially why many of us find him interesting to follow.

  15. Wildcat

    Lol!! I’ve read Steve’s blog for many many years. I can’t even begin to count the hundreds and hundreds of times people have given Steve quality advice and then read that either he ignores it – or most commonly, does the exact opposite.

    Why do any of you think this time is any different? Every day is opposite day for Steve.

    Kind of like my 10 year old. Sometimes I feel like I should tell him, “Eat candy all day! Never brush your teeth! Don’t do your homework!”.

  16. orphan

    Steve you should just quit the blog for a few week or more. We all will come back when you feel better.

  17. Dave King

    It’s possible Steve’s concussion symptoms are indeed atypical for a severe traumatic brain injury (TBI). Few of us have experienced head injuries this severe and I suspect even fewer have experience and knowledge dealing with this on a daily basis (we’re not neurologists or neurosurgeons). As an ER provider, however, I suspect that his symptoms are NOT atypical for a severe TBI.

    Many athletes have difficulty accepting that they have an “injury.” Eventually, we all experience an event in our athletic careers where the cause of our symptoms is worse than we initially believed and we have to re-set our expectations about our goals, activity levels, and recovery. I don’t think Steve has reached this point yet. As we all know from his blog, he has been ignoring the standard of care for recovery TBI which perhaps may also explain the continued severity of his symptoms. Someone with a badly fractured ankle would be foolish to walk on it until cleared by his orthopedist which is basically what we have here.

  18. Tilford fan


    Yes, even the very best brain doctors don’t really seem to know that much about the brain. I learned all my lessons on my own while recovering. There is generally no road-map. The people who DO know about brain injuries are those of us who’ve been through it, are still going through brain injury, or are fully recovered. For me, I know that recovery will be a lifetime. Please seek out a support group when you feel better. Also–meditation can really help.

    Take care of yourself.

  19. Dixie Sargent

    I gave my rant to you steve, on facebook. you need support. i dont get why you are not getting the care you need. this is dangerous. Please Topekans…help Steve get the care he needs. A lot of THS classmates became MD’s. Contact one. Chris Kennedy, Kevin Kennedy, Michael Kennedy,. All in KC. A lot of others, too, who can help you get care and direction. Just ask for help. Stop doing pushups. you need rehab, but you need rehab for brain. Get your MD to get you into rehab for your healing. You are not thinking rationally about your condition.

  20. DR

    He’s actually very lucky to have the severe headaches, that’s the only thing keeping him from climbing back on the bike today. Don’t expect those around him to be giving him good advice, these are the enablers that allowed him to ride without a helmet. Every group ride that I do have been mandatory helmets for decades. Let’s hope the headaches give him a chance to stay down and heal.

  21. Todd

    Holy cow…..this is a slow train wreck to death…I gotta stop reading this blog……One more slight head injury and this guy will be dead. Push-ups??? WTF??? Hopefully the next thing I do not hear about him is that he died.

  22. Emacdo

    Steve, also keep in mind that depression, hopelessness, despair are all major side effects of TBI. (I’m not a medical doctor but after years of hockey and bike accidents I have a bit of personal experience with this aspect). Do not underestimate the effect that this particular nastiness of TBI will bring – spend time with Tucker, get outside, even if it’s just sitting in the yard, especially if it’s sunny; I can remember days, weeks, when a sick sense of humor were all that kept me going).. There aren’t any easy cures (like, ‘think happy thoughts’) but knowing that depression and its cousins are real takes away the surprise when they show up. It has nothing to do with ‘toughness’; it’s about chemical changes in your brain from the accident. This part also passes as you get better physically, but it can feel like a cold November rain until it does.

    In my experience, being in nature, even if that only means sitting your deck with Tucker, helps the most.

    Take care, rest, let shit go.

  23. Chapo

    I have been living with TBI for two years now. My bowels are still loose and i have to carry a chamber pot. I gave up racing 🙁

  24. Jeff

    I think we should all get off the man’s back. He knows full well that writing this blog, doing pushups, or whatever adds risk to his recovery. He wants to do what he wants to do, for his own reasons. It’s HIS choice what level of risk he accepts. Respect it. Cycling itself is inherently risky and there are many non cyclists who would doubt our choice to ride/race at all (helmet or not). Which of us would want to be continually harped on for it? Let the man live how he chooses.

  25. Ed

    Agree, even with a helmet he can’t have another knock on the head after this one.

    In a group ride and taking part in the sprint without wearing a helmet is stupid nowadays.

  26. barb

    Vincent posted a link providing information about Steve’s injuries one of which was subarachnoid bleed. The information said it could start bleeding again at anytime. I don’t think, given the fragile and lengthy nature of recovery and the risk of re-injury, that doing pushups is the best thing to do with this condition. 🙁
    I can only hope for something promising from the upcoming doctor’s appointments.

  27. steve moore

    I am praying for you. I believe in God, he has changed my life and I believe He heals.
    All the best.
    Steve M.

  28. bz

    Its hard not to laugh about the push ups. Risk vs. Reward – no concept of it. The doctors have / had him on stool softeners because they don’t want him stripping his gears putting undue stress on his swollen brain, and Steve is seeming so insecure he needs to do one more rep for the ego? Or value? I don’t get it.

  29. Americus

    Jeff, put down the pipe and step away from the crack… TBI has no idea what the fuck they are doing.
    30 mph on a bike and crash with no brain bucket ain’t no biggie till its REAL. Then you have to pay the piper for your ignorance. This isn’t a case of I am a bad ass and stitch it up myself bullshit. This is droolcup the rest of my fucking life and Trudi has to pick up the pieces. Pull your head out of your ass Steve and quit playing around. Your damn lucky I am far away or I would boot ur ass. Arg, probably only hurt myself!! Whats made you an amazing competitor has made you a really shitty ass patient. I wish you the best but I am finished reading this nonsense. Do your pushups dumbbell.
    Carry on folks…. <3

  30. Jeff

    Americus, I don’t believe I said or even suggested that TBI patients (including Steve) can’t reason properly. (As you suggested by your first sentence).

    Steve does things his way. By now he has heard everyone’s opinion about how he should live his life. In addition, there are his gf, brother and others who would have regular personal contact with him so are in a better position to harp on him if they so choose. So why don’t we stfu and respect Steve and rely on his closest friends to guide him? And keep your “crack” insults to yourself please. Thanks.


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