I was sitting out on my front porch a few minutes ago, kind of moping around. I’ve been moving around super slowly today. Actually, it started around 2am this morning. I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I just got up and started my mopey day. I didn’t stay away all night. I went back to sleep around 6 and slept again for another hour or so. So, today was never going to be stellar. I tried to post something earlier, but didn’t have the patience or the mental capacity to do it.
Anyway, I’m sick. My hip feels way better, but I’ve got a constant stomach/back ache and a on and off again headache. Plus some other symptoms. I’ve been trying to go outside a few times a day and just sit. The front porch has a good view of squirrels collecting acorns so I picked it.
I’d only been on the porch for 15 minutes, or so, and here ride up two fixtures in the city of Topeka, Ken Hackathorn and Brian Hammondtree. They have been riding their bikes around Topeka for years/decades. I think every city has a couple guys like Ken and Brian, guys that make the rounds through town and always make sure to check in at the bike shop often. Ken and Brian have probably had 50 different bikes between them over the years. They buy, upgrade, then sell bikes constantly. I don’t think either has a driver’s license, so their bikes are their only mode of transportation. Kenny has some issues and his balance isn’t good enough for a two wheel bike anymore, so he got a tricycle.
So, they see me on the porch and come on up. Kenny had brought a bag of bike parts for my brother, Kris. Ken’s trik was making a ton of noise, so I hobbled out to check it out. He has cable disc brakes and were easy to adjust. Kris got a 5 mm and it was done in a few minutes.
Anyway, Brian wanted me to autograph his new Specialized 29’r. He was saying it was an honor having someone from the Mountain Bike Hall of Fame’s signature on his bike. So, Kris went in and got a Sharpie and I signed both Brian’s bike and Ken’s.
I was pretty much done after standing in the driveway for 15 minutes, so I went in. But not before Ken told me a few jokes. He always has a constant supply of jokes. I’d tell you a few, but most, nearly all, are rated X, or at least crude. Crude, but sometimes funny.
Anyway, it was nice having those two stop by. They ride by fairly often, but I’m usually pretty busy, or just not around. It temporarily got me out of my doldrums and was a pleasant break from moping. It will probably be a highlight of the day.
Brian on the left, then Ken or the right.
Brian showing me where he wants me to sign his new Specialized.
Autograph.
I like squirrels. Got a couple living up a tree in my back yard. They can be very funny to watch sometimes…
Let’s hear the jokes, Steve…we can handle it. Here’s an ice-breaker!
Did you hear about the Gay Midget?
He came out of the Cupboard.
that is kool.
Here is one I heard yesterday.
A guy walked outside of his house to find a gorilla in his tree. He liked in the yellow pages to see if he could find someone who specialized in stuff like this. Sure enough there was an ad by guy who specialized in trapping gorillas. The guy shows up with a dog named Ole Leroy, hand cuffs and a shot gun. He looks at the gorilla and says “this should be simple enough, but I’m going to need your help.” I’m going to climb up that tree and shake the branch. If everything goes right the gorilla will fall out of the tree. When he hits the ground Ole Leroy will simultaneously go for his nuts. When the gorilla reaches down to try and protect his nuts you just slap those hand cuffs on him and that will be that! Ok, but what is the shotgun for? Should I climb up there and that gorilla decides to shake the branch and I happen to fall out of the tree I want you to shoot that fucking Leroy!
The Trooper lives?
Steve, don’t just stand there and feel sorry for yourself. Get your a$$ over to the water park and ride that NEW Worlds Tallest Water Slide at 65mph. Cheers!!
P.S. Thanx for all the jokes everyone AND keep them coming.
In the middle of the Kansas woods stood two trees. One was a birch tree and one was a beech tree. They were old friends. One day a sapling began to grow right between the two trees. For years, as the sapling grew, the two trees argued about whether the younger tree was from their seed. The birch tree was adamant the small tree was a birch and the beech tree thought it was a beech. The argument went on and on throughout the years as the smaller tree got bigger. Until one day when a woodpecker came flying by. Both trees agreed that if anyone would know what kind of tree the younger tree was it would be a woodpecker. So, the two trees convinced the woodpecker to settle their argument once and for all. The woodpecker pecked at the tree for a minute and said, “Guys, this tree is not a beech tree. It is not a birch tree. This tree is the finest piece of ash I’ve ever stuck my pecker in!”.
Heard this in the OR last week….
What is difference between a used tire and 365 used condoms ?
– A Goodyear and a great year
An American at a restaurant in Spain ordered the Specialty of the house. In a little bit the waiter brought him a platter with two large pieces of meat. The American asked what it was. The waiter told him, “This is the testicles from the bull that lost in the ring today.” The American was skeptical, but to his surprise enjoyed his meal very much.
The next day he came back to the restaurant and asked for the same meal. Soon the waiter brought him a platter that had two much smaller pieces of meat. The diner expressed his disappointment, to which the waiter said, “The bull does not always lose!”
Hacksaw Hackathorn is still riding – good to see!
did you hear about the Amish Flu?
First you get a little hoarse and then you get a little buggy