June | 2014 | Steve Tilford

I’m not actually sure if I don’t bounce so well or I have less patience to deal with the hit, but whatever the reason, I seem to be struggling mentally a little more with this injury than I have historically. It is so stupid to have a preconceived idea of a time frame I should be on when it is sort of completely made up by me. But, that is the way I’ve done it over the years, so it’s hard to change it now. I’ve written a post before about this subject, racing hurt, or maybe more appropriately called getting hurt racing or recovering from injury.

When I was an intermediate, junior 13-14, I went up to Milwaukee to race Superweek. It was my first race trip out of Kansas. I did pretty well the first couple races, but fell during my 3rd race and broke my collarbone. We loaded up and went back home. I saw an orthopedic surgeon back in Kansas and he said everything looked good. I asked him if I could still race if I could stand the pain and he said he didn’t see any reason I shouldn’t. So, we loaded back up and drove back up to Milwaukee and I raced the National Championships just a few days later, with a clavical strap cinched down super tight. During the race, I was off the front with Jeff Bradley and my arms fell asleep. I crashed and Jeff went on to win the race. It was a different era of medical advise back in those days it seems.

We’ve been downloading a bunch of old cycling pictures and media to digital form the last few days. It is sort of strange seeing the photos and not thinking it was that long ago. It really wasn’t compared to a universal time frame, but compared to a human’s lifetime, it is a big percentage. I found a photo from the British Milk Race, after I’d hit a stationary car at 100 km/hr. I was pretty broken up. I remember being super disappointed not being able to finish the race, but don’t remember having this withdrawal mindset two weeks later.

That time, after returning back to the US, I went to altitude to acclimate, so when I could ride, I could train effectively at altitude because the Coor’s Classic was less than 2 months away. I had a broken collarbone, leg and hand, plus a wicked concussion. Right now, looking back it seems virtually impossible that I could get back to a resemblance of race form in that short of time, considering I needed nearly the whole time to heal up. But, I did ride the Coor’s race, pitifully at first, but came around the 2nd week and finished up alright.

I know I’m older and heal slower now and I know that I don’t really have any real need to rush anything. The season now is nearly 365 days a year now, so I can just start whenever I fell up to it. It would be nice to have a goal, a race, to have a realistic time frame for reentry.

I’ve been getting a few emails and comments here about whether it is time that I just hang it up, the sport. It didn’t even cross my mind. Cyclingnews did an article with Taylor Phinney, who broke his leg the same day as I broke my hip. I’m not injured nearly as bad as Taylor and of course, am not in the same situation in cycling as he is either, but we do have the same mindset somewhat. He says, “I’m in physiotherapy and I’m way ahead of schedule, in fact they’re forcing me to chill out,” Phinney said. “There isn’t much for me to do except for rehabilitation.”

So, I’m antsy to get moving more. I’ve been riding this handcycle the last couple days. It is way slow and much harder than riding a bicycle, but it is super nice getting out under my own power. I’m sort of surprised I’m not walking yet without crutches. It seems nearly impossible, but I am getting better. It is way easier putting my pants on and getting up and down out of a chair.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” It is so true, I really don’t have much to complain about.

Laid up in a hospital in Whitby England after hitting the car below.

And this was the car I hit at the British Milk Race. It came out about as bad as I did.

This photo was taken the morning before the two pictures above. Both Andy Paulin and I, behind me in the National Team jersey, hit the car at warp speed.

Photo from a newspaper article of me riding rollers with a broken collarbone before Nationals.

We’re heading back to Topeka today. Not that I didn’t like hanging out here in the mountains. It is nice being around other people and not just sitting around, moping. I am a little bit more mobile and can get around better than when I left Kansas a week ago.

I’ve been riding a hand cycle the past 4 days. Getting out in the fresh air is something I appreciate more than I had anticipated. But, using my arms to propel myself is a humbling deal. A couple days ago I went pretty hard and could hardly average 11 mph. It is any rise that kills the speed. I looked up the winning time of the NYC marathon and the fastest is 1:31. That is over 17 mph. Amazing. I’m sort of surprised that my arms haven’t been destroyed every morning after doing it. It is pretty much a continuous workout for an hour. I didn’t know I had that in me. I know I can’t swim for an hour straight, so I’m not sure why I can pedal a hand cycle for that long. It must be the short rests I get on the descents. I’m going to ride it once more this morning before we drive.

Trudi, Vincent and I went over to Boulder yesterday and ate at Chautauqua for breakfast. It was drizzling in the morning and we were the only table sitting outside. I haven’t been there for a couple years. Boulder has sure grown up crazy. I didn’t spend much time there last year during Cyclo-X Nationals. Especially out by 28th street. We went to an Apple Store on 29th street. I’d never been to that outside mall. It’s incredible how quickly things change.

Vincent is doing a 100 mile MTB race on Saturday. I would stay around and help out, but there is really nothing I can do. I was pretty wasted after the trip to Boulder. I can’t really see moving around for 7 hours, trying to catch up with him at the check points. I’m not sure why a broken bone and a little cut up muscle take so much energy to heal. It seems like it wouldn’t really be that big a deal, but obviously I’m wrong.

I did get on an ergometer for 22 minutes yesterday. It started off pretty slowly, but after 10 minutes or so, it felt a little better. It is nearly impossible going over 80 rpms. And I feel better not leaning over the bars, but sitting more upright. It was hard doing over 100 watts initially, but I kind of settled in at 160 or so. I quit when I thought I might be over doing it, which was probably a few minutes too long. But, I don’t seem to be any worse for wear this morning, so that is a good sign.

The North Star Race, (Nature Valley) is going on right now in Minnesota. Another race I was focusing on this year. It looks like the yesterdays road race was a gutter ride, with a ton of side wind deciding the break. Heath Blackgrove, my temporary team mate from Joe Martin made the split with the Optum and Jamis guys. He finished 3rd. Being from New Zealand, Heath knows very well where to be positioned in hard cross winds. I like those types of races myself. But, there is always next year.

I’ve been getting up around 4 am the past week. Once I wake up, my leg is throbbing and I can’t get back to sleep. The Dauphine doesn’t start until 5:30am Colorado time, so I have over an hour to blow. Waking up that early makes the day really long. Last night I slept until after 5:30, which was a dramatic improvement. That extra hour and a half is huge. I feel much better this morning.

Okay, sorry about the same old health update posts. Hopefully, with more sleep coming slowly, I can get back up to a broader thinking mode soon.